The Secret 05 Ella and Micha: Infinitely and Always by Jessica Sorensen

Author:Jessica Sorensen [Sorensen, Jessica]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2014-11-18T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 5

Ella

Christmas tunes play from the car stereo, promising happy days of holiday joy ahead. I wonder if I’ll ever feel happy again after what was just revealed to me in one of the stale smelling rooms at the doctor’s office.

“Oh, my God, I hope it’s a girl,” Lila says excitedly as we drive down the freeway toward our subdivision. “Then we get to dress her up in cute, little dresses.”

I scrunch my nose. “No dresses.” I picture a little, baby girl with blonde hair and green eyes, punked out in black pants, boots, and maybe a shirt with a skeleton. Then I shake my head. What the hell am I doing?

“Stop talking about the sex. I’m still trying to process what just happened.”

She bites down on her lip as she veers into the next lane and then down the exit ramp. “But you have to admit it, shopping for a girl would be so cool,” she sputters out, unable to contain her enthusiasm for more than five seconds. “We should totally stop by a store right now.”

“No way.” I chew on my thumbnail, trying not to panic, but suppressing my anxiety is becoming more complicated by the second.

The doctor confirmed the tests. I’m pregnant. My body is now home to a mini me. Oh, my God, I think I’m going to puke again.

I clutch at my stomach. “I just want to get home.”

“Oh, fine, you party pooper.” She sulks. “But I will shop for it sooner or later, even if it’s a boy.” She releases a deafening exhale then mutters, “It’ll probably be my only chance, anyway.”

“Fuck.” I suddenly feel like such a jerk. “I’m so sorry, Lila. I didn’t even think about how you were trying and then”—I motion my hand in the direction of my stomach—“this happens.”

“Ella, let’s get one thing straight,” she says, gripping the wheel. “I’m super happy for you, regardless of what’s going on with me.”

“But you’re sad,” I note as I slip my sunglasses on to block out the sunlight reflecting through the window. “I can see it in your eyes that you are.”

She sucks in a slow inhale as her gaze remains glued to the road. “I just worry that it’s not ever going to happen for me.”

“Having a baby?”

“That, and that I’ll end up a middle-aged, single woman living with my cat named Chester that I talk to out loud.”

“Lila, Ethan’s not ever going to leave you.”

She stares at her ring finger. “Maybe. But maybe not.”

“Hey.” I reach over and cover her hand, preparing to tell her how wrong she is, but I’ve told her it enough that I don’t think she’ll ever believe it. So, I decide to go a different direction. “I’ll tell you what. If Ethan decides to leave you, you can move in with Micha and me so you won’t be all alone.”

Her lips threaten to turn upward. “Really? Can I even have the guest bedroom near the attic? Because that’s my favorite room in the house.”

I nod.

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